What really counts

I've been thinking recently about friends, and how important they really are.
Sadly, I've somehow lost contact with them recently, even some of the ones that live on this continent....well in the same country really.
I've put other things as priority, I've disappeared from the routine of life that I had a while ago, and I've changed.
Perhaps not even in a good way, I'm still reassessing that at the moment.
I've got a lot to be thankful for, but if I don't nurture the friendships I have...then I have nothing, and no one to share all the gratitute I have.
So perhaps this is a post to say I'm sorry...that I still think about all of you who are so far away, even though the communication is about nil...and to those who are on the same continent,well, that I'm sorry I've put other things priority and taken for granted what is really important.
I just want all of you to know, that, you've been there for me when times are tough, and I'm very thankful for that.
I just hope you know you can count on me when times are tough for you as well.
Things have been a bit complicated for me recently, I've mixed up what really counts and closed people off, but I'm trying to change that now.
First steps are always the hardest to take, but I'm going to do better this time.

Pic of 21st Party

Just one, and there were a few more people there than just 4... there were 8 people there to be exact, but heres a picture at least.

21!! Woo Hoo

I am officially 21....as of 3 1/2 days ago more or less.
It feels goooood, oh yes it does.
Last nights party was a BLAST, met up with a bunch of friends at the Irish pub I was talking about in one of my earlier posts, and drank tons of beer from Denmark, which was absolutely delicious.
We grooved to Stefans band that was playing and I tried to croak out the lyrics when I knew the songs that they sang. Unfortunately, we just so happened to get a table right in front of the speakers...and I mean RIGHT in front of them. So sadly, we could not hear ourselves talk, much less think, but I still had a wonderful time. And hopefully my friends did as well.
After the pub we headed off to a Salsa Bravo, and danced our shoes right off. I had a great time, they had a contest where they called up all the birthday people...myself included, and you had to dance by yourself, and whoever got the most cheers would win. I ended up being one of the last 3, but didn't win. But I did win myself a beer, I was happy.
This morning though, I woke up with quite the headache, pay for having drunk on an empty stomach the night before, and not drinking enough water, I suppose. Also, the neighbors decided to choose this lovely day to start drilling holes in the walls. ooooh I was not happy.
Now tonight, I'm off to see a play, don't know what its about, or anything, but figure it might be fun.
Well I do wish a lot of my friends from the states could have been here for my b'day bash last night as well, I miss you guys a lot and I'm sorry for not keeping up such good communication with you!

New News

So I've finally moved houses, and it is (as Jim Carrey would say) B-E-A-UTIFUL!
I've got my own spacious room, with a big closet, and I'm planning on getting a good sized bed as well. So excited!
I've been sooo busy with work recently, never have time to update. Plus no computer. At the moment I'm using a friends comp at the institute that they work at...wonderful. Though sadly I'm not going to be coming out this way much longer as my classes that I have over here, are going to be ending in a week.
So whats up with me? A lot....besides moving though...not much. Just working and sleeping and eating. Sounds like a boring routine doesn't it? It does get a bit monotonous, but since I travel through the city a lot it kinda keeps me on my toes as I can't forget where I have to go next, or what office I have to be at. It also is teaching me a lot about time-management.
OOOOHHHH I have plans for my birthday already. I'm so happy!! I've decided that I want everyone to meet up at this pub I found, an Irish one. I went there today to check it out, and fell instantly in love with the place! I have, have, HAVE to go there for my birthday!
I decided to go to a pub this year, as that's what I would do if I was in the States, turning 21 and all....definitely a momentous occasion. Though here it doesn't really matter as the drinking age is 18, but still, I'm American, not really THAT proud of it, but gotta celebrate at every moment that I get.
Well thats all for now at the moment.
Love all of you who read this blog, and no, I haven't forgotten about you.

Oh what I would do...

A book! A book! My kingdom for a massive box of English books!!!
Recently, I've been missing the joy of reading books in English, and sadly, I don't have any books to read in English here, they are almost impossible to find, and if you do find them, they will cost you an arm and a leg to get....and since arms and legs don't exactly grow on trees then I have to be content with just the thoughts of having books in English, which isn't exactly as satisfying.

If anyone reads this, and has it in their little heart to send me books, then reply, I'll send you an address in the states where you can send them, so they will be brought down to me.

An open book...I've got no secrets

Well my sister did it, and I found out a few things about her that I didn't know previously....seriously. So I decided to do the same, and perhaps you might find something out about me you didn't know before.

Have you ever...

Sung someone to sleep? Yup, used to take care of these kids, and the easiest way to get them to fall asleep was to sing soft songs to them.

Baked a cake without a recipe? um.....don't think I'd ever want to try it, my cakes baked 'with' a recipe barely even come out.


Recorded your voice? I'll admit yes, I did. On a tape recorder once, on an mp3 player, and then finally in an actual studio

Written a novel? Started and never finished any of the stories I tried writing, they were all crap.

Lost a loved-one? Yes

Been in a band? Nope...always wanted to be in one or start up my own thing though. did sing at two wordstocks, the same ones my sister did, she only sang at them because I convinced her to, we sang together 'The B'Smith Sisters'

Wanted children? Once...but only because I was with someone I loved

Cried yourself to sleep? eck....yes....

Met someone famous? don't think so, but then again, how do you define famous? dang, I guess since I had to ask they weren't famous afterall

Wanted to be famous? one can dream, can't they?

Used a rhyming dictionary? nope, don't think I ever did

Drew/painted a piece of art to completion? yes, a few pieces

Streaked? In my wild days

Gone somewhere deliberately in the hopes of running into someone? um...isn't that borderline stalking?

Felt so incapable of expressing love that you cried? well if that would make me seem to be like a blubbering fool...then no....but if not, then yes, at times I have felt quite incapable

Written a song? what exactly would constitute as a song? silly ditty's running through my head? or actually having written something down on paper and put a melody to it as well as music? darnit...I've done both

Climbed a mountain? yuppers, i have

Wished you were the opposite gender? heh...just for a day, to see what it would be like

Been heartbroken? its better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.....(bullshit)

Been in love with someone who had no idea? don't think so


Do you...

Stop reading books halfway through? yes, usually because I never have the time to finish them...or they're an e-book and I can't ever get to the computer to read it...

Cry during movies? no, not often at all

Talk a lot? probably

Do you try to talk less? I think its evened out pretty well with the times that I don't talk

Sleep better alone? no, I prefer to sleep with someone, or something, its more comforting, i usually stack my pillows around me to make it more cozy

Pinch pennies? I don't think I'm so good at that...

Quickly lose interest in projects? are you kidding? all the time...fortunately I'm dedicated enough at times to try to finish it the best I can...other times...you can forget it

Misplace things? oh god, I feel like I'm getting so old, there was a day when I would get annoyed at how other people would do that all the time, because I never did...now...I feel so bad for ever doing that

Love math? like 1+1=2? sure, thats fine, but any algebra or geometry, you can just forget it....i'm a wonderful finance person, as long as they aren't my finances


Do romantic, thoughtful things for the people you love? I'd have to go with what my sister said on this one and say I'm selfish

Have difficulty getting rid of things you don't use? all the time, how did I become such a packrat? its horrible

Notice and remember little things about people? occasionally...depending on what people, and interesting they are

Prefer wine to beer? sometimes, but wine and beer are pretty much my favorite alcoholic beverages

Do an accent? hehe....yes...I sometimes imitate accents in my classes

Enjoy the spotlight? shhh....don't tell

Love board games? same as my sis 'Only when I'm playing with good company.' which isn't all that often sadly

Wish people would stop talking about you? if its bad then yes, but if its good, then they can talk all they want

Enjoy exotic foods? i don't think so, unless calmari counts...which i doubt as 'exotic' foods are more like monkey brains and fish eggs

Cook elaborately for yourself? oh yeh....when i have the ingredients + time + an empty house so no one else asks for any.....which actually never happens....so no, I don't cook elaborately for myself

Have expensive taste? Oh god yes, I'm 'in love' with this store in the mall....but its waaaaay out of my price range

Write on yourself? not so much anymore

Wish you could be someplace else? sometimes

Miss people? DEFINITELY! all the time

Organize to a fault? organize? organized? me? HA! only when i'm in the mood and have time, but that hardly ever happens, and when it does, it turns into a wreck the next day anyhow, so whats the point?

Wear clothes that are too big for you? all...the...time. I went through a drop in weight recently and none of my clothes fit me, i'm stuck with having to pin my pants and wear belts, soon i'll take them to the taylors to get them fixed...or soon i'll buy new clothes...whichever

Wear make-up every day? yeh...pretty much, i work basically everday

New Haircut

So I got a new haircut a little while ago. These aren't the nicest pictures of it, but I figured a few recent pictures would satiate everyones curiosity as to whether I'm still alive or not.
Don't worry...I am.

Goodbye My Almost Lover

Your fingertips across my skin

The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick
Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do
We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images
And when you left, you kissed my lips
You told me you would never, never forget these images
No...
Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do
I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I'll bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy to walk
Right in and out of my life?
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

~Artist A Fine Frenzy

Breathe Me

Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no one else to blame
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
And needy
Warm me up
And breathe me
Ouch, I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found
Yeah, I think that I might break
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
And needy
Warm me up
And breathe me
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
And needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

~Artist Sia

Mothers

Remember when you're kids would do this....

And then all the excuses through the years...


Also all those little things that just seemed perfect to you on your special day...though they were pure luck for us...

And then lastly it comes to this...

It hasn't yet happened yet for some, but Mother, I want you to know, that I hope you still feel like a MOM even though none of your children are near to care for.

I love you!!!

Have a Happy Mothers Day!!

Euphoria!! I've found it!

I woke up this morning, in such a great mood, as today is the day which we get to move into our new house, or else at least finish the paperwork for it.
But then, my happiness was smashed when I heard that there was no good news to be heard, how sad I felt, I broke down and cried, I took a long walk to our apartment afterwards just to get some fresh air and sunshine, to make myself feel better, and it did help.
I was praying the whole way, that things would miraculously work out for good, and when I got here there was still no news but I felt better.
About 10 minutes pass and Pablo comes home, with such wonderful news!!
WE GOT THE HOUSE!!!
YES!!!
I'm happy again.
'Euphoria came and went, and with it, it has left a path of sadness, as I was happy, and now I´m sad once again.'
I wrote that this morning, but now I feel euphoria once again!!!

the post with pictures

as promised

no pictures yet this time

I had a wonderful time last night, just taking pictures of this mini fashion walk.
I believe the 'official' photographer didn't really know what to do when I and my friend were around shooting pictures, he gave us dirty looks at first and kept glancing over to get an idea of what we were doing with our dlsr's, but warmed up after a bit and started smiling back whenever I'd smile over at him, and even started dancing around to the music they had on, fun fun.
Made some new friends with a foreign student and a Ukrainian girl, very nice people, and it was fun to have new faces around to talk to.
I haven't uploaded any pictures yet, as usual, but this time I really promise that I will post some on this blog, I know I haven't kept any of my other promises, but I'll try, I really will.
We went to a restaurant afterwards, and enjoyed a nice cold beer and some fries, went there with our new friend Fabio, the name totally didn't suit him at all, and he looked like the mac guy from the Mac commercials, awesome time talking to him, perhaps will hang out in the future.
We're packing all our stuff today, and will be moving to our new house, so I probably won't be able to post the pictures anytime soon, as we probably won't have internet for a while, but I still will try, perhaps go to an internet cafe or something.
Well, it was nice of you to stop by, please do so again in the future for an update with actual pictures...I promise, it will only be pictures, no comments or anything.

New Art

I have two pieces of artwork that I finished. Both of which I've been working on for quite a while. Well...one of them I had been working on for quite a while, the other, I did a rough sketch and never went back to it until yesterday.
Anyhow, here they are for your viewing pleasure

Free Yourself
Free yourself from the ties of the world
Desire to embrace the wind
Let go of all that you've known
To gain that eternal peace within
Repression
-
Self Portrait

CashBack

I just saw it, it was a cute movie
Makes me wish I could stop time as well though
His art is soooo awesome, jealousy man
such jealousy

Summer in Chile

Of this whole summer season here in Chile, you'd think I'd be hitting the beaches, or at least get a bit tan somewhere on my albino body....but no
I'm as white as can be, and I can't see to convince the people of my home to go to the beach with me, how I want to go!!!!
Knowing the South Americans for their obsession with being fit...well most of them anyhow....fine just the populace within the ages of 15 to 30 or so, I'd be the fat american, dammit.
hehe....I know you all love me and will over load my blog with comments such as
'oh your not fat sweety'
'round is a shape dammit!!'
and so forth....and I really would love to hear them

end of meaningless rant

the much delayed post from me

Peace to all those of you who visit my blog still.
It has seen a bit of tranquility over the last few months.
But now here is a post to update things a bit.

I have arrived safely back in Chile (as of three weeks ago about...) but I'm happy and content for all those who care.
The trip back here was long, and tiring, and I think I slept for about a full day when I got back.

Thanks so much to Dawn and Donovan for putting me up for the few hours I was in Miami, I really REALLY appreciated it. heh GBY Don, if you ever see this, getting up at 3:30am to have me at the airport in time, was really a good Samaritan deed for you to do, as well as put up with all my incessant calling throughout the day to see if my computer had actually arrived.

But anyhow, enough with that, I doubt you're ever going to read this post, so on to the more interesting subjects for the rest of you who do read this blog.

Where was I? (such a classic self directed question.)

Oh yes, I got a complimentary international flight from Avianca Airlines. Was quite nice actually, and totally unexpected, as I had only asked if I could rebook my ticket for later on in the day as I was waiting for my computer to arrive.
But the thing was that they were overbooked on both flights, and told me that if I did that, then I'd be put on standby and I probably wouldn't even get to go on the flight at all.
Anyhow, what the sweet guy that helped me out did was ask his supervisor if he could put me on Voluntary status so that if they were overbooked for my flight (which they were) then they would put me confirmed on the next flight, plus give me food vouchers and a voucher for an international roundtrip ticket from the airline.
Groovy eh?
I thought so, plus I was hoping desperately that I'd get my computer that day as well...which unfortunately I didn't.
But anyhow, that said and done, the day went by uneventfully, with me curling up in some corner of the noisy airport to get some much needed rest which I failed to get because of the early wake-up I had.
So instead of spending the whole day in Bogota, Columbia, as previously planned, I spent it in Miami.
No pictures of me at the airport though, so sorry, I was way too tired to be taking any. And there wasn't anything interesting to be taking pictures of...well people...but who really wants their photograph taken at the airport? Really? I mean we all know that when your travelling you don't really look good at all...that is unless its a 2 hour flight and you have a really hot boyfriend/girlfriend waiting for you when you arrive at your destination.
I spent roughly 2 days travelling, I arrived in Santiago at 5am in the morning.
Thanks to Danny for picking me up at another ungodly hour, hah, I really have a lot of people to be thankful for.
You guys rock! really...you do, I'm not just saying it...where would I be without you? With all my overweight luggage and everything, ehh...no not really overweight.
But yes, I've been back for a while now, and the only post that you've gotten from me is one about my new photoblog, which not too many of you visited...well of the people that visit my blog at least.
So thats that, life has gotten pretty much back to usual again, with teaching, and studying, and all the rest of the home life activities and projects.
I'd post a picture...but I just realized that my hard drive isn't plugged in, and theres no extra plug to do so either, so too bad, you'll have to wait for next time.

Oh, and thanks to all of you who kept me in your prayers, I'm sure my travelling experiences would have been quite horrid without them.

Because of you, I've been blessed

New Photoblog

I changed my photoblog over to www.lei.pixyblog.com
or click the picture to get there
feel free to leave comments because I love getting them :D

In the Air Again

To all those who read this blog, this is a request for prayer.

I´ll be travelling for the next 2 days about, and would like to ask for safety, against any problems with my luggage (e.g. overweight, damage, loss, etc.) And that I get back to Chile in one piece.

Love you all uber much, and tks so much for your prayers.

The Waiting

There is one thing that I've grown to dislike about traveling...well a few things actually but I'll only mention the one here for now.

It's the waiting

Yes, the waiting...you know, when its the day that you're leaving and your just waiting around to leave because there's not much else to do.

Or there's the waiting on someone to drive you to the airport.

And the wandering, wandering around because you have absolutely nothing to do, and everyone else is blissfully happy immersed in their jobs for the day and you have absolutely no idea what to do except offer your help, and hope that they don't give you a job that will interfere with your waiting and not make you late.

But then, while you've volunteered yourself for some kind of job, a million thoughts run through your head about so many other things that you had to do, that you suddenly remembered, and are trying your hardest not to forget.

Though, doing something, is almost always better than the dreaded waiting...

It's not that you're waiting happily to leave, just that you know the time is going to be upon you soon that you will have to leave, thus the reason for all the waiting.

Once your finally on that bus, or plane, or train, or whatever, the waiting stops....or so you think

It actually starts another cycle...the waiting to get to your destination, the dependence you have on so many other people to get you there, and the total helpless feeling that if they don't get you there then you will have to wait around for someone else that will.

Of for a pair of wings, that I wouldn't have to wait so much, or the capability of teleportation so I wouldn't have to 'wait' in lines.