Remember, remember

The 5th of November

Sometimes life is cruel, its harsh, its heartless. There are so many things that just aren't within our control, things which you don't choose to happen, but do. Things which you never even thought of happening but they happen anyhow, so many things you just don't plan on.

If you could have just one wish, what would it be?
I know what mine would be, but its selfish, and I want to be selfish with it. But its cruel of me, heartless of me to want something like that, because I can't control it, and if I could it wouldn't be right, it would never feel right with me.

Remembering
I dream, melancholy at the windowsill
memories I will never tell
our passion in the last night hours,
our tearful goodbyes at down.
Mountains and rivers divide us.
I've given up hope for rain.
Divided - I dream of you today
I even embrace the pain.
Yuan Chen (775-831)

You may think I'm just babbling on about a bunch of nonsense...and you may be right, as I guess its what comes from having a lack of sleep the night before, an insomnia attack and not being able to get to sleep till 4am in the morning.

But I don't care whether you understand what this is about or not, you're not meant to. I'm just rambling on because I need an outlet, somewhere to get it out and for someone...anyone to see and just possibly understand a tiny inkling of what I'm trying to say, without actually saying it.

I think I need a psychic for this type of thing.

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it was never meant to be. We do not possess anything in this world, least of all people.
Allison Willcocks

You always want the things you can't have, and don't appreciate the things that you can.

If something comes to easily to you, you don't appreciate it as much, but if something never comes at all, you want it all the more.

What kind of psyched up psychology is this?

Love makes life so confusing, but without love, would you want to live?
Unknown

I don't regret anything, I just wish...things could be different. I don't despise what I've been through, I see it as something which will make my life sweeter, as hard as it is. Like a beautiful rose amongst thorny bushes, or a phoenix rising from the ashes more beautiful and stronger than before.
Rebirth, thats what I'm going through.
A new beginning and leaving behind all the old, as hard as it is, as much as I don't want to. As much as I desperately want to hold onto it and not let go, I must.

To live in this world you must be able to do three things: to love what is mortal; to hold it against your bones knowing your own life depends on it; and when the time comes to let go, to let go.
~Mary Oliver

You never cling to something so hard as when you're about to let it go. But my feelings about this will never change, they are, I believe, eternal and nothing will every change that.

The only thing that is changing, is that I'm setting myself and all this, free.

Him that I love, I wish to be free...even from me
Ann Morrow Lindbergh



(edit) as I've been chastised, I will post a end note to say that all sayings in italic in this blog post were stolen from said blog (sorry Tina)