Its coming soon!

I saw this in the news of houston, pretty freaky, and yet another sign of the end.

check it out

I survived!

Wow, I finally have something to post about, but sadly I don’t have the pictures yet, soon though, hopefully soon.

Anyways, I just spent the last two days with a bunch of OCs at a little W.I.P. event that they had. I was part of the photographer/gopher/set-up/clean-up crew; it was pretty interesting, as well as fun.

Yesterday we went to the Papalote (it’s a science museum with a bunch of kewl different things) and we spent basically the whole day there, looking and experiencing different kinds of things.

There was this one exhibit where you get to experience what you’d do if you suddenly lost your sight and where you get to see what it feels like for people who could never see, they explain different things to you, then tell you to go into this pitch black room, where there are a series of obstacles you have to go over, under, around, and through, it was pretty interesting, but it was slightly ruined by someone turning on their watch light to see where they were going.

At another exhibit there was this surface that you lay on, and as you’re laying on it, they raise you up with tons of nails, it was very interesting, and though you think its going to hurt tons, you actually didn’t really feel very much of it at all, because your body evens itself out when laying down, so that you won’t have more weight distributed in one area than another.

Then, for the final experience, we watched someone dissect a real heart…

Ok, ok, it wasn’t a real human heart, it was a pig’s heart, but still, it was real. They said that the pigs heart is most like the humans heart overall, and so they use that for dissecting and showing the different chambers and everything, it was really interesting, and surprisingly, I wasn’t that queasy around it at all. After the lady finished dissecting it, she gave everyone permission to touch it if they wanted to, and surprisingly a few of the OC girls did touch it, I on the other hand, as well as the other team leaders were too sicked out to do so.

After that, the lady took out a cow’s eye to dissect as well, it still had some of the eyelashes attached to it, and it looked rather disgusting. I got sicked out when she began to squish the eye between her fingers, I couldn’t handle that, so I left, leaving the braver ones to see the all the little parts and everything that are inside the eye.

There were other things, we did and saw and experienced at the Papalote, but they weren’t as exciting or fun, or I just don’t want to expend my brainpower telling about them all. So that will have to do.

After that, we all headed over to the Corazones home, where they were hosting the W.I.P. event. It was a very nice property and a really nice place, and everyone was super kewl. I got asked about a dozen or more times from different people that lived there ‘if I was the girl that was going to join their home a while back’ and why I didn’t end up coming, and all that jazz. They were super kewl people though, I gotta admit.

Anyhow, they had a special little dinner for all the OCs where they had to dress up nice, then they had a little dance night for them, with games and live music from the resident band there, P.C.F. interesting name that has no meaning, but I won’t get into that, they were a pretty good band, and it really got the OCs out of themselves. Anyhow, after that they all headed to bed, and the staff stayed up for a couple games of volleyball in the freezing weather outside. I didn’t play, but watched and only lasted outside for maybe 20 minutes, at which time I felt like an ice cube and decided to move myself back inside to my nice warm bed, and computer. Needless to say, I ended up getting to sleep before everyone else, but they did wake me up when they came in from jumping in the pool at 1 or 2 am.

The staff had reveille around 7am this morning, but since I’m not a morning person, I dragged myself out of bed a little bit later. It took 2 cups of coffee to finally wake me up, and even then, it was as if my body had all the energy and my brain was still foggy, but I survived.

We had b’fast at 8:30 or so, but I had to get the classroom ready for inspiration and they class they were to have, so I had b’fast after I did that, then cleaned up from b’fast and after that I joined in the inspiration a little bit, but since my brain was still a bit slow, and my body was just getting started, I just ended up sitting down for most of it. Till the class started that is, then I had to start taking the photos, as up until then, someone else was taking them, but then they had to translate for some non English speakers who were attending.

After all of that, everyone had to go get ready for sports, which lasted from 10:30am to about 1 or 1:30, at which time I took a ton of photos of the sports. Though, actually I wasn’t taking photos all the time, as I had a very limited amount of space on the camera, so I did sit down and just watch for a bit. But then, I got taken away to help the lunch crew clean up a bit before lunch and set up the lunch outside, then served the plates for the OCs, and cleaned up afterwards.

Then, after lunch had to clean it all up, and set up the chairs for the W.I.P. presentation, and skits the OCs prepared. The girls skit was very cute, but took a little bit of time to get to the point of witnessing, but the boys one was surprisingly pretty well done, though of course it lacked in certain areas, it was really cute though.

After that was through, they OCs watched ‘The Wild’ and 6 of us staff members took 15 minute shifts keeping an eye on them, then we were free to pack our stuff up, and go swimming or whatever else we wanted to do.

It was long, it was exhausting, but I have to admit it was fun, and it was nice getting out and meeting a few other people that live in the city. And as soon as I get the photos from it, I will post them.

Oh and I had a nice little surprise waiting for me when we got home, apparently they moved the girls room to another room while I was gone. I knew it was going to happen but I just didn't know when, so now I'm in another room, with no bathroom, sniffle sniffle, but I'll live

furry things

I have come to the conclusion that fluffy dogs scare me
They may look cute and cuddly, but beware of the monster it turns into behind your back

on a side note, haven't been up to much lately
Turned 19 a couple of weeks ago, yippie!
no pics though, cause we didn't do anything for it
so sad, but now I must be on my way

just not cut out for this

I have come to the inevitable conclusion that I'm just not cut out to be a blogger. My life is too boring to keep up with, and whenever I do have something to post, I'm too lazy to do it, or I just don't have time.
I said almost two weeks ago that I would post pics of my trip to Ixtap in a few days, and I didn't, its taken me this long to post them. I'm just horrid it this. But I still try, that counts for something doesn't it?



This is the day after we went to the beach and got all sunburnt














All dressed up for dancing

















Aren't my nephews cute?




















Benji looks just like his dad in this picture, well I think so at least.












Such a happy little family

yippee!

I'm back online!!

But that hasn't been the reason for my silence, just haven't had anything to post, or just too lazy to post anything.
I'll post some pics of my vacation in Ixtapa sometime soon.

its the little things...

Sometimes I feel as if there is no point to this life that we live, that there was almost no reason for us being put on this earth besides having tests and trials. It sometimes feels as if we make no difference at all.
I've had a lot of doubts and questions, and they all just surface sometimes, but I know that I should just go to the word for answers.
Don't you feel sometimes that there's no point to it all? That we were just put here to have trials and hardships? That we make almost no difference in the world, or not enough?
Well I was chatting with a friend today, and we were talking about a lot of different things, and he said something that made me really start thinking. He said, sometimes it feels as if we're not making a whole lot of a difference or being able to change the world to where you can actually see the change, but then it came to me.
We might not always see the effects we have on people, we might not even know we effected someone enough to change. Its the little things that really change the world, or one persons life. When you talk to someone, when you witness to them, when you pray with them, you've started a ripple effect, and they in turn have started their own ripple effect on other people. We don't always see the effects of what we do in this life, but we will when we finally get to heaven.
So you can't just think that you make no difference at all, because you do, everytime you talk to someone, remember, your starting a ripple effect.

change is coming

I've recently been working on a new template for my blog, as this one is getting really boring.
But I've come up with a few problems

1. The template I've found has a few minor problems in the html, which have needed fixing and I've been trying my best to do some patching to it.

2. The template also does not have any links for comments, so I need some help with that, if anyone knows how to do that, please let me know

so let me show you a sneak peak at what it might look like when i get through with it


it will be either like this -->











<--Or like this

It's HUGE!

I have a new word

Brobdingnagian

go look it up in the dictionary

I feel special, oh so special!

So today was my first day out witnessing/tooling since I've gotten here. Yeh yeh, I know, I've been here for one month and haven't gone out witnessing/tooling? Well, let's just say that I don't get out much and leave it at that.
Ok so I go out with Jason (mexican national that speaks english that I barely understand) and we get dropped off not so far away so we won't get lost, but still in an area with not that many shops or anything.
So we make do with what we have, and go to the first plaza we find, go to a few shops there, and Jason stifles laughs whenever I say something in spanish (he's making fun of me, I know it).
I have limited spanish, and he has limited english, we barely understand each other, and we both have to repeat what we say a few times before the other gets what your saying, so finally we almost get to where we understand each other, after almost a full day of witnessing/tooling.
Anyhow, we finish the plaza, or at least all the stores that don't look busy, or don't look like their stingy, and we move on, down the street, in the direction of home, coming across a few more shops, not everyone said yes, and not everyone said no.
It was fine for a first day out for me, he's been out before, but yeh, not basically by himself (I don't count for much because I don't speak spanish yet, but I will try when I know more).
So we realize that a lot of shops are closing, and or are too busy watching Mexico get beaten by Argentina, so we decide to provision food. He tells me its my turn to do something, I laugh, he trys to convince me, I say I don't speak spanish, and they don't speak english, he rolls his eyes and plunges into the abyss...I mean restaurant.
First one says no, so we go on to another one, they say yes, and give us a little bit of yummy food, we sit there a while, watching the game, then decide to leave, thanking the sweet lady that gave us food.
We decide to try provisioning more food at another place, they say yes, and we sit down, they gave us more yummy food with carne, it was good. We watch the rest of the game, or what we thought was the rest of the game and thank the people and start our trek back home.
We finally get home after getting picked up by a sweet lady, and stopping at the store because she said she was only going to take 10 minutes, she took 20, but we still got a ride basically all the way home, YAY! Ok so we were out for I dunno, 5 hours or so, and put in our stats, and Marcos gives us our 10%, whoo hoo, money! The first since I've gotten here, 12 pesos! I feel special, I really do, and I'm not mocking, its money and if I do this again, it'll add up.

(ok I know this was a boring post, I was bored, and yeh, thought that my first day out witnessing was worth posting about, but I think I've just bored myself to death, and can only imagine what I've done to you, heh, so I'm going now.)

Happy Father's Day!

I'd just like to wish my Dad a happy fathers day.
I know I'm not the best daughter, I wasn't always nice to you, I had my battles and trials about you being the father figure in my life instead of my real Papa, but you did good.
You put up with me, you waited patiently for me to finally come around and see you as something other than the big bad guy all the time(even though I'm sure sometimes you were ready to chortle me). And you taught me many things which I will never forget.

Such as:
How to make fried egg sandwhiches
Practice makes perfect (or pretty close to it)
How to mark my bible
To put God's will first

And many other things, those are just a few that came off the top of my head.
So all this to say, I hope that you have a wonderful day, that you'll see this post sometime, and know that I love you, though I tend to hide it a lot, and that I'll always remember and appreciate that you were there for me probably through the toughest spots of my life.

Excitement of the evening

So I was sitting here quietly on my computer when suddenly I hear blood curdling screams coming from somewhere in the house.
Then laughter, so I think to myself, "Somebody probably just scared someone half to death, and thats the cause of the scream."
So that being solved, I continue what I was doing.
Then, more screams, this time they don't sound like someone scared them out of their minds, they sound as if something else scared them out of their minds, and judging from the scuffle I hear going on, its probably not human either.
So I decide to ignore it a while longer, being as I don't want to get caught up in the middle of things. But then curiosity takes the toll on me when I hear a few more screams coming from the kitchen area. So I decide to investigate.
So I creep out of my room...treading causciously so as not to be attacked by whatever they are facing. I reach the entrance to the kitchen, and slowly walk down the steps.
There's a scuffle going on in the kitchen, and it looks like things are getting messy. Kitchen table here, chairs strewn across the floor. Juan running in and out of the kitchen yelling, little Johnny grinning and doing the same thing, and Suzy probably with a broom in her hands. Looked like quite the excitement.
I grin and slowly ask whats the matter. They all just look at me for a second, then Juan gestures to me to go back out.
I look to my right and there behind the safety of the glass door stands all the women, besides Suzy of course (she knows how to take care of her own). And they start telling me to get out of the kitchen as well. I just look at them, and ask them calmly about what's happening.
They tell me its a rat.
A rat in the kitchen? Noo....surely we would have come across it sooner. But if it is indeed one it sure picked a good time to come out of hiding.
I decide to retreat back to my room, don't want some rat running over my room anyways.
Later Terry comes in and tells me breathlessly, "We got it, and it wasn't a rat."
"Really?" I ask him, "So what was it?"
"A Possum."
Great, I wonder, so how did that get in the house. But I kept wondering to myself.
Terry leaves the room a few minutes later, then Juan pokes his head in the room, gesturing me to come see their catch of the day. I avidly shake my head a vicious no. He smiles and leaves, leaving the door open.
Then a minute later he comes back in with, you guessed it, the possum, in a cage though. So I'm safe. Great, now we have a possum for a pet? Don't tell me its true. Do you know how many diseases those animals probably carry? Enough to make start itching.
So they decide against the plan of keeping the possum, or maybe it wasn't a plan after all, they perhaps just wanted to see my reaction about the possibility of it being a pet. Anyways, they take it outside of our property and took it on a long walk.
To where?
I don't know.
What did they do with it?
Same answer


Will post pictures that Terry got with my camera later, I'm too lazy at the moment

Where's my privacy?

So my room has been taken over today by avid world cup viewers during my quiet time.
I guess the saying "no rest for the wicked" holds true. Man did I want a little nap today. But its not gonna be...unless by a miracle the electricty goes out for a while, as it has been doing quite regularly lately. But usually only at night. Oh well.
So I'm subject to dialogue in "espanol" while I try to think, and type this post out. Maybe it will fade in the background soon and I can finally drift off to sleep. But for some reason, it doesn't seem plausible. Maybe later...or maybe I'll just crash somewhere else for a change, while I try to stifle my glares in their direction.
Oh its really no big a deal...I just am kinda tired and love to exagerate things when I'm tired, and annoyed, and just finished cooking for the last couple of hours, so yes, exageration takes its toll on my writing.
I really should stop soon, but theres not much else to do, except try to find some other comfortable place to crash till quiet time ends...which is like in an hour or something.
So I'm off to find a happy place, away from all this world cup business.

Why pick that one?

What I don't get is Pinata's.
Parents pick out their childs favorite cartoon character and then fill it with candy so that the child can beat it up till it all falls out. Why does the kid even want to beat his favorite character up? Just because there is candy in it? Hrm...I still don't get it.
Why not pick some character that the kid really hates then have him/her beat it up. Then they will actually have some point other than candy to beat the thing up. Or do they just get some sorta weird pleasure out of seeing their favorite character torn to shreds, just for the little treats inside. Or maybe their favorite character isn't really as special to them as a bit of candy is.
Myself if I was every given the opportunity of beating the crap out of something a pinata, and had the choice of what kind of pinata I wanted to beat up, I wouldn't pick my favorite character, or anything that in any way resembled cute. Maybe an ugly version of my favorite character, but not the one that really looks like it.


This maybe, because it just looks bad, and doesn't even look like the character its supposed to be. I mean look at it, its hideous, I would be happy to beat something like that up because its just discusting looking and doesn't deserve anything else but be beaten up. At least you get something good like candy out of the process of beating it up. Its gotta pay off for something. Right?



But definately not this one, its just too cute, and it definately looks like him. I wouldn't want to beat him up just for some candy, heck I wouldn't even buy the thing, because I wouldn't even need it to beat up. But still, its the thought that counts.

I'm not saying by any means that spongebob is my favorite character, just one that I really like. And it would just be sad to watch it be decimated just for some pieces of candy that I could buy a bag of or get some ugly thing that I wouldn't mind the thought of beating it up.

But also buying a pinata is a waste of money anyways, and instills in children that you should beat something up to get what you want. Now do you want your child thinking like that? No, so save your money and just buy the candy.

Experiments

So I decided not to post the rest of my boring experiences of that week..because I wouldn't want to read them if I were you. That and the fact that I'm too lazy to type them out, as someone told me that post was just too long and detailed. Which it isn't really, and definately not too detailed.
I'll just say the rest of that week went by without a hitch, and I got to see my adorable nephews in Morelia, and I'm happy to be in this new home. An experience, but its kewl nonetheless.

Anyhow, yesterday Susy and I baked a cake, chocolate cake. And we didn't have an icing for it, so we cut it in half, and put homemade strawberry jam in the inside. And then put it back together. But then we didn't have anything to top it with. So we improvised. Thats right, we boiled butter and sugar in a little pot together..then added a bit of cocoa..stirred that in and let it simmer a bit more...till it got to the 'right' consistency...heh...tar. We successfully coated two spoons in the stuff before realizing that it wouldn't work. So then, we added milk and water...not to mention a little rum. It fizzled, it bubbled, it burned. And it ended up tasting really strongly of cocoa and I think had a little burnt taste...but everyone seemed to like it. Then after finding that it wasn't tar any longer, we topped the cake in it. It dribbled down the sides, then we put strawberry's on top as well. It looked yummy. I'd post a picture of we who made it, but sadly the other cook ran when I took out the camera, so all I got a picture of was the cake. Enjoy, it looks sloppy, but it turned out good.

Surprise!!! Well I tried didn't I?

Ok so maybe I haven't been so faithful with posting this last week...or so. But I've been busy, I had to pack, I had to work things out about going down to Mexico with my brother and a ton of other things. So yeh, I have been busy. And to top it all off I had to keep it all secret from Terry, as he thought I was coming on the 24th instead of the 21st. So now I'm going to update you on all that I've been up to this last week. Be prepared for a really long post.

Sunday May 14th
Yes yet another ballooning day, and guess what? The last ballooing day I'm going to see for a LONG time if i can help it. And I'm late, not only because I woke up late, but because somebody forgot to wake me up and thus I slept in late. And not to mention I am going to IHOP which was packed when I get there. Lucky me, eh? So yes, I got there, its packed, and there's no place for me to set up my table, so I stand there for about 2 or 3 minutes till I decide to just set up my table in the middle of the place...yes, I'm tired, frustrated, and annoyed that I'm the ONLY person to be going out today. So yes, I get all set up, and people start leaving, it almost gets empty, and then it fills up again. Does that quite a few times in the 4 hours I was there. So anyways, I get through that, and thankfully IHOP has started giving us breakfast again, that is at least something to look forward to.
Ok I get home, and Livi asks me if I wanted to help her out with taking the kids skating, sounds like a plan to me, so I eat my IHOP food then I get all ready to go and we leave. Great fun we had, I got to say goodbye to a bunch of people that worked there, I will miss them, here are a few pics that I took with them.

So we spent basically the rest of the day there at the skating rink, it was fun, I'll miss people, they were kewl, and then we went back home, and had pie and icecream to celebrate Livi's birthday. And then I tackled my packing and drank a bit. Trying to finish off whatever alcohol I had left over, but I ended up just giving it to Livi.

Monday May 15th
I'm tired, went to bed around 3 or 4 the night before. But I'll survive, just sleep on the bus, speaking of bus's Nathan needs to call me, as I need to know what bus to take. His phone's being a turd, it just goes to the answering message. Oh good, he's online, I'll drop him a line, hoping he'll see it and either call me or send a message back. I get neither, for at least another 15 minutes to half an hour. Its trying my patience as the first bus leaves at 12:30 and the next one leaves at 3:30, and I have no clue which one he wants me to go on. Grr....ok good he called. 3:30, ok that sounds like a plan, I'm going to be in Austin by 6:45 or 7ish. It ends up being 7:15. Anyhow, I have a couple more hours at home, so guess what I do? Yes...I sleep, I'm tired, and I haven't had much sleep the last week, so here I am trying to catch up on all the lost sleep I've suffered from. Livi comes in sometime around 12:30
Her: "LANI?!? I thought you were leaving this morning?"
Me: Yes...well things change, and I'm still here, not leaving till 3:30.
Her: Oh...ok, well I guess this mean we can take pictures now! As you were packing till God only knows when last night.
So, I drag myself out of bed, and we take pics...not many as she has Anjie's baby to watch, and it isn't being so quiet. Then Julia calls, they want to come see me, but...just my luck I'm leaving in an hour. So that doesn't work out...sniffle.
2:20 and I'm just leaving to get to the bus station...yes I know I'm late in leaving..and yes it probably is my fault. Oh well, I get there half an hour early, lucky me, there aren't that many people going on the bus, but I have to pay $20 overcharge for an extra suitcase that is also overweight. heh..I guess I just never learned to pack light.
I get on the bus, and the first two things I think are...ok this is it, I'm leaving houston, and oh please don't let any weirdo's sit next to me. Yes I'm safe, no one has sat next to me....yet, great some person just had to sit next to me now, well...its ok I guess as their engrossed in their book and all I want to do is sleep. Wonderful, he's moved to another seat as someone has gotten off the bus. And now I've finally arrived in Austin. Um...how am I going to move all these bags from here to inside all by myself? Wonderful....I guess I'll just have to move them one at a time. YES! I've succeeded...and just my luck, Nathan now chooses to come walking through the door. So we load all my stuff in the car and run around and do some errands then stop at subway and get a sub to eat, his treat. Don't I have such a wonderful brother?

Tuesday May 16th
Today was comprised of us traveling back and forth from Austin to San Antonio, because they had a 3 vehicles to move and only 2 drivers...if only I had been able to drive as well, they would have only had to take one trip, but it was ok. We stopped at Cracker Barrel, and had a yummy brunch there. I am a Cracker Barrel virgin no longer. And to tell you the truth...I didn't have any clue as to what Cracker Barrel was until about 3 or 4 months ago, I always just assumed it was some kinda clothing store or carpentry shop or something. But yeh...we learn something new all the time.
So we've finished running around and driving vehicles to San Antonio and we get there in time to attend the after-party of Wordstock. It was fun, I got to see Mari, I was happy about that, as I was afraid I wouldn't be able to see her before I left, and I got to see some other people that I hadn't seen in FOREVER! It was great fun, except everyone was smashed by the time we got there..and the booze was fast running out. But I still had fun, with my two beers.

To be continued....

The Letter V

It was brilliance when I first read about it, it was brilliance when I finally saw it, and his speach in the beginning to her with all those V's? Absolute Genius! I liked it so much, that I'm posting it here for your viewing.

This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished, as the once vital voice of the verisimilitude now venerates what they once vilified. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-à-vis an introduction, and so it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.

I was awed, compelled, and utterly swept off my feet by the whole movie. It took a little while for me to get used to him speaking through his mask, as you get so used to seeing actors use facial expressions while they're talking, but he pulled it off quite well. His motions, and everything helped bring out the importance of his words in a very, different way.

It held a different aspect of what things could be like in the years to come, especially with America and how it shows it tore itself apart by civil war, I almost think that could happen soon, where with all the tension building up with the illegal mexican immigrants and all. Such thought went into this movie, such foresight.

I saw it almost a week ago, and I'm still mulling over the entire thing. There are probably so many different things put in it that you wouldn't catch them all on your first viewing. It has to be one of the heaviest movies that has come out recently, but thats just my opinion though.

Gee whiz..where'd I get the emotions from Mom?

My feelings about going to Mexico

I'm happy, scared, reticent, I've dared
I'm estatic, afraid, worrying, I'm frayed
I'm lying, true, joyous, and blue...



I'm scared out of my mind!!
What am I doing???

Its all different now

Well today I went through all of my clothes and got rid of a ton of what I didn't need...be proud of me...very proud. It wasn't easy, heh. Nah, I actually needed to do that anyways as I'm going to be moving soon and need to get my stuff down to suitcase size...watch me have extra room once I buy my suitcases. Ok so I did that, and went through my shoes, as well as packaged bananas and froze them, and moved all of Anjies stuff out of our room. Because we have other people moving into our room so that Anjie can have her own room with her offspring.
The other people that are moving into our room just happen to be the boys from downstairs. John, Mike and Aaron...no one told me about this change till this morning. Oh well...guess thats what I get for not having to go to meetings anymore. So we did all of that today, and we are hopefully going to put up a partition so that we girls can have some "privacy" or as much as we possibly can with a sheet hanging between us and the boys.
Things will change soon...so they say, but not before I leave. Things happen slowly around here, its good in some ways...bad in others but it becomes a habit, we must break it.
I'm not sure when I'll become used to coming into my room and having to scrounge around for privacy to change....oh wait...that already does happen cause the boys are in here so much already, so I guess it isn't that much of a change afterall.
I will survive!

(I was going to post pictures of the before and after changes...but I never got around to taking them, oh well. If you visit here anytime soon, you'll see for yourself.)

A Breath before a Scream

Don’t’ scream

Till its too late

And the feeling has dissipated

Don’t breath

Until you’ve screamed

And the echo is gone

Counting down the days

It almost seemed like I would be here forever.
It really felt like my time here would never come to an end, but all things do, someway or another, in time.
I feel...apprehensive, as to what this next chapter in my life holds. I could almost say I'm scared, but even then, that doesn't feel right. Perhaps I'm just in an emotional state, and they're all just jumbled emotions that I can't figure out.

I did it though, I turned my thirty days in.
"About time!", a million voices in my head shout, but theres always the one in the background that protests.
I was scared, frightened, and still am. Will probably be till I finally get where I am going, but it is done.
I cried.
It was sad, I tried not to, I tried to keep a straight face on, tried to hide the emotions churning inside me, but they all came bursting out and fell down my cheeks as liquid crystals. I didn't want to cry when I was going to hand it in...but I did.
I don't know what I'm doing.
But there's a first for everything right? A first for officially moving to another country. And a first for being scared out of your mind of what situation you will find yourself in in that other country.
I am insane.
I know, its crazy, I'm crazy, everything is crazy, and for what? I don't know, other than what the Lord has told me to do. I guess I'll just have to take it one step at a time, otherwise I'll just end up a complete mess.
I'm terrified.
But here I go...